Bachelor Season 19: Episode 1


And Season 19 of The Bachelor: In the Fields of Love - as I am so lovingly calling it because I really don't get why Jake is the only season that got a real name for his season - is underway. If you didn't catch my first looks and opinions at the ladies, there is still time to see all my thoughts based solely on head shots and bios. But here is where it all begins. A three hour - way too long - premiere of The Bachelor: In the Fields of Love, starting with a LIVE red carpet event where all the Bachelor nation celebs showed up. Here is my recap of last week's episode to give you a refresher for tonight! And you get my very own commentary, combined with all those I was watching with - shout out to my parents - and texting - shout out to Karissa and Madison.
Let me start with the LIVE Red Carpet event. Which was a bore fest and partially missed because I was enjoying a grilled cheese sandwich. While I was eating I did catch some fans saying they wanted Michelle Money to be the next Bachelorette - and I can say this much to those fans, me too! I have a huge girl crush on Michelle Money. Loved her during her season, loved her in Bachelor Pad, loved her in Bachelor in Paradise - I know what you are thinking, Deidre has a serious Bachelor series problem - and I will always love Michelle Money. But back to the red carpet... It was a nice time to mix intros of Chris, the ladies, and interviews with the Bachelor alum for one whole hour of complete nothingness besides these few highlights:
Introduction for Farmer Chris and all things farming and farmer. Plus a cameo of Cody Code who was hired on as Chris' personal trainer for the season. And then we have a little about him wanting to find love, a few shots of him shirtless - this is the Bachelor of course, a preview into him getting fitted for some suits... Plus, what is that!? A motorcycle!? So Chris is apparently a "badass" farmer. He gets more interesting every day.
Update on all the Bachelor couples. Starting with Sean and Catherine who apparently have babies on their radar. No one knows how big the radar is, but it is on there. Also, Sean gives a recap on his experience as the Bachelor and what Chris can be looking for. He also gives a plug on his new book  which I am interested to hear what people think about it. Next up is Marcus and Lacey. They are currently planning their wedding in their minds. Lacey plans, Marcus "helps" was the joke. They don't have an official date but Lacey said they are "80/40" on solidifying a date... so that sounds promising. And we end with the most adored Bachelor couple as of right now, Andy and Josh. Basically they are living life and enjoying it. Still engaged. No plans for marriage anytime soon. Just ready to be together and experience it all. Then we get the honor of hearing from Niki, sans Juan Pablo luckily, about the breakup. Host Chris was trying to pry something mean about Juany boy out of her but she was very nice and ladylike about it all. She said "I mean", "like", and "you know?" more times than my father could handle. It was also the longest interview in the history of boring interviews. So I was happy when they ended it and went onto some pre-intros of a few of the ladies.
There was Britt who talked about how it is hard to be single in LA. Then there was Jillian, the intimidating new producer than thinks love is a competition. Following those two was Amanda who said she was still single because she is basically crazy... which is true. I loved her and I hated her all in one tiny little box. She is legit nuts and lives at home with her Mom. Her Mom also said she would be kicked out of the house if she embarrassed her on national television. After that was Whitney. Cute girl, annoying voice. But only her interview voice drives me up a wall. Besides that she seems great. Following that was a few ladies I do not remember that much and Kelsey. Kelsey is the most darling girl and a widow. I didn't give her too much credit in my opinions but I think I will like her solely based on her pre-intro.
And then finally the LIVE red carpet event ends. THANK YOU! And the show starts with he women arriving in limos. And as the limo pulls up we get to hear all the girls squeal and then ballerina Amanda makes her debut by saying Chris' smile is a "panty dropper" - you are done, I knew it at that very point - and I wanted to love you so much. You were so promising with your Sherri Hill dress and stunning ballerina legs. I can't remember all the limo intros because seriously... so many. So here are the standouts.
Britt: Longest hug ever. All I could think was "Never let go Jack!" And as Karissa's husband said, "Lock it up - there goes that." But she has great hair. And a great dress.
<script>Whitney: Yellow shoes. Bad choice.
Kelsey: Great hair. Can't recall anything else.
Ashley: "Miss USA? Is that you?!" Girl legit looks like a pageant queen. Stunner to the nines.
Reagan: I almost threw up a little... a heart in a cooler!? Why would you even think that is a good idea!? Oh.. it is fake? Still gross.
Tara: Oh hey Daisy Duke! Why dress in a cocktail when you can show Chris you are ready for the farm? Oh jokes. You went and put on a cocktail and re-came out of the limo.
Amber: SHE BROUGHT HER TEDDY BEAR! I called it. I literally screamed SO loud when it happened my napping Dad woke up and was worried I was injured.
Kaitlyn: I really hope Chris doesn't think it is cool that girl offered him to plow her bleeping field. Gross. I cannot even with this girl.
And then Bachelor was like super cool and pretended that was all the ladies coming. "Go inside Chris, meet the women!" And all the women are inside saying, "There are always 25 women! I have watched this show my whole life!" Well if you have watched it your whole life you should also know that Bachelor producers prefer to screw with your head. So Host Chris comes and pulls out Farmer Chris and 15 more women arrive in limos. And it is instantly clear that the Bachelor producer asked the women which ones had clever intros and put them in the back half so the first half of the women could watch from the windows with sheer jealousy.
Samantha: All I could think about is how her neck was not as long as the photo made it look. Also the first 15 women tried to block her from coming into the house, real cool.
<script>Tandra: Motorcycle girl. I love her. She and Chris can join a biker gang together.
Jordan: "I brought you some whiskey because the house isn't entirely stocked with free booze." Start the night off right!
Brittany: OH MY GOSH WHAT IS SHE WEARING!? It is the WWE Diva. Wrestlemania! It looks like lingerie but it appears to be a $230 dress that is surprisingly sold out. Barf.
Carly: Barbie karaoke!
Jade: I cannot love her dress. It looks like she wanted the rhinestones to be strategically placed so they looked to be covered her boobs and the rest is skin toned.
And honestly the rest of the back half of the ladies were a blur of cleverness and women getting mad from the window. From there it is a battle for Chris at the cocktail party. There is a lot of drama, women getting drunk, and fighting over Chris. Highlights of the episode between all the cattiness? Britt gets the first impression rose and the first makeout of the season. Go in for the kill kiss Chris! Kaitlyn says more inappropriate things in one hour than I think I have said in my whole life.  Ashley S. spends a full 5 minutes talking about an onion and then she sees one that turns out to be a pomegranate and rips it from the tree with her Hulk strength. Tara gets so incredibly drunk I thought she might drop at any moment yet she still receives a rose which is a Bachelor first that the drunkest of them all lands a rose after they cannot hold their liquor. It literally was the focus of the rose ceremony... Tara crosses her arm, Tara starts blowing into her hands and rubbing them together, Tara looks like she will fall over in two seconds. I couldn't. And at the end of the rose ceremony there are 10 very sad ladies sent out the door that were there for love and did not drink themselves silly. Except... one of them comes back!? What the what!? And of course they end it as she walks into the house to grab Farmer Chris so we don't even know what happens from there.
And then they showed the season preview which makes me think the show should be called Living on a Farm wont be easy because of all the crying that happens. But this post is already long enough without me going into details there.
Best cocktail dresses go to Amanda with her Sherri Hill two piece, Tandra with the tasteful lace and nude number, and Britt with AB stones for days.
My favorites as of the small things I know about them are Jillian, Kelsey, and Britt. I think I will like Whitney once I get used to her voice. But we will see how things change over the next little bit. Who did you love? What were your top moments from episode 1? Can't wait to see episode 2 in all of it's glory! Hope you are ready for it too.
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