Dear Wanting and Needing,

The other day I was chatting with my friend and she showed me a blog post by someone we knew. We chuckled about it for a little and then our conversation went a little like this...

Me: I dont like that their life appears so perfectHer: well that's usually how blogs portray life in general

  peeps don't blog about the bad stuff

 Me: Yeah

  I guess so

Well... I don't guess so. I know so. And it got me to thinking. I am definitely guilty of that. I post a lot of funny things about my life. I post a lot of good things. I definitely only post my good outfits because I do not get ready on a regular basis like one might think. I do like to laugh and I do like to have a good time. But just like everyone else I have my ups and my downs. And I want people, whoever you are, to know who I really am. So while I do love my life. And I do love Adam. And I do love making funny faces, wrestling, cracking jokes, and smiling... I want you to know all sides of me. And I want you to know who I really am. So here I am, today, to start talking about the bad parts too. Starting with the most recent bad part. I am really lucky to have a nice job. I will be the first to admit I am blessed there, but at the same time... it isn't a field I want to be in forever. It has nothing to do with my degree. I want a job that showcases everything I studied and interned in for my four years at college. And I was finally in a place to get that job... three different times. I had gone through all of the rounds, I was in the top two or three selections, only to come out... not on top. Well, recently I finished up the process for a seemingly perfect job. Adam came home from baseball to see me pouting, "What's wrong Deidre?" I felt stupid... I had gotten my hopes up. It was a job I really wanted. And we had both prayed for it a lot. Adam prayed that the employers would see my benefit and I prayed that I would be happy with whatever the outcome and know that it was right.. neither of us got what we prayed for. "I didn't get the job Adam..." I started crying as I thought about what we had both been asking for over the last few weeks and how we didn't get what we wanted. Well, we both did... but not in the way we wanted or not right away. As for Adam's prayer, the employers saw my benefit and really liked me, they just liked someone else better. As for my prayer, it took my a little while to remember what I prayed for. Not that I would get the job, but that I would know that the outcome was right. And after a lot of tears and pouting. I am remembering what I asked Heavenly Father for. And I am remembering that I asked him to let me have the job if that is what was right for me. And so clearly, it wasn't... 

{via}

That is one thing I need to work on. And it one thing I need to remember in the great times and the not so great times. He knows what is best and He will give me what is best when I need it. He knows what I need while I merely know what I want.

Love,

Deidre