Dear Wanting and Needing,

10.30.2012

The other day I was chatting with my friend and she showed me a blog post by someone we knew. We chuckled about it for a little and then our conversation went a little like this...

Me: I dont like that their life appears so perfectHer: well that's usually how blogs portray life in general
  peeps don't blog about the bad stuff
 Me: Yeah
  I guess so
Well... I don't guess so. I know so. And it got me to thinking. I am definitely guilty of that. I post a lot of funny things about my life. I post a lot of good things. I definitely only post my good outfits because I do not get ready on a regular basis like one might think. I do like to laugh and I do like to have a good time. But just like everyone else I have my ups and my downs. And I want people, whoever you are, to know who I really am. So while I do love my life. And I do love Adam. And I do love making funny faces, wrestling, cracking jokes, and smiling... I want you to know all sides of me. And I want you to know who I really am. So here I am, today, to start talking about the bad parts too. Starting with the most recent bad part. I am really lucky to have a nice job. I will be the first to admit I am blessed there, but at the same time... it isn't a field I want to be in forever. It has nothing to do with my degree. I want a job that showcases everything I studied and interned in for my four years at college. And I was finally in a place to get that job... three different times. I had gone through all of the rounds, I was in the top two or three selections, only to come out... not on top. Well, recently I finished up the process for a seemingly perfect job. Adam came home from baseball to see me pouting, "What's wrong Deidre?" I felt stupid... I had gotten my hopes up. It was a job I really wanted. And we had both prayed for it a lot. Adam prayed that the employers would see my benefit and I prayed that I would be happy with whatever the outcome and know that it was right.. neither of us got what we prayed for. "I didn't get the job Adam..." I started crying as I thought about what we had both been asking for over the last few weeks and how we didn't get what we wanted. Well, we both did... but not in the way we wanted or not right away. As for Adam's prayer, the employers saw my benefit and really liked me, they just liked someone else better. As for my prayer, it took my a little while to remember what I prayed for. Not that I would get the job, but that I would know that the outcome was right. And after a lot of tears and pouting. I am remembering what I asked Heavenly Father for. And I am remembering that I asked him to let me have the job if that is what was right for me. And so clearly, it wasn't... 


That is one thing I need to work on. And it one thing I need to remember in the great times and the not so great times. He knows what is best and He will give me what is best when I need it. He knows what I need while I merely know what I want.

Love,
Deidre
Tarabelle said...

Great reminder. God definitely knows best and we have to accept that just because we dont like the answer doesnt mean it isnt for the best.

Tara

http://tarabelle-adropofink.blogspot.com/

Brani Laine said...

Oh my goodness! You were talking about me?! With Whitney. I am so good at this. I should be a detective. But wait, my life seems far from perfect, so it can't be me. Okay, have I failed? I hope so. :] Sorry I haven't been around. Been really sick. Bleh.

Brani Laine said...

PS. I still can't get over Adam's reaction to my comment the other day.

SarahJane Miller said...

This was a really sweet post! I, too, am guilty of only blogging about the good. Thanks for sharing this story. I hope you find whatever the BEST for you is :)

sjdmiller.blogspot.com

Mel P. said...

Ah, the toughest lesson of all.

Hang in there!

Brani Laine said...

PS. Remember talking about this job stuff through IM on gmail? About me not getting the job I wanted, having them pick someone "better"? You will get it, Deidre. The perfect job will come along for you. You are such an amazing woman; funny, pretty, smart, just all around great. Sometimes people have more experience and they get the job and it's just right for them in that moment. You will have that moment, just like I will. Keep faith. I felt the need to come back and post this to you. I feel you are one of my closest blogging buds, if that exists. Thank you so much for being "real" with us. That is inspiring. Adam is a lucky dude.

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