Fashion Fits Everyone || Volume 1

8.22.2013

Body image and beauty have been on my mind a lot lately. After four years competing in pageants, a year or so in blogging, and a million girl's nights... how could those things not cross my mind? I'm a normal girl with normal girl insecurities. Am I fat? Are these clothes too tight? Can everyone see this acne that looks like a mountain? Is my hair long enough? Do my finger nails look weird? Are my pores too big? Do I have on too much makeup? The list of questions goes on and on and on. And maybe you haven't asked yourself any of those, but maybe you have. Or maybe your questions are a little different. No matter what the angle, it is our nature, as women, to compare ourselves to other women.

I always try to show confidence. In my walk, in my speech, in my fashion, in everything. But underneath it all. I am so self-conscious it is ridiculous. I'm not telling you this to make me you feel bad or to fish for a compliment. But confidence is a process... and it is a process that I am just barely coming to terms with. It has taken me a lot of time to push back those ugly comments from boys and girls that I grew up with about my weight, about my style, about my personality. There will always be critics. But before the critics come those who love and support you. And that is where my confidence stems from.

About a month into marriage, Adam and I were getting ready to go out on a group date. I got dressed. Looked in the mirror. And then told Adam I needed to change. I changed. Looked in the mirror. And then told Adam I needed to change, again. And this went on three or four times until I eventually broke down. I sat down on the ground in front of the mirror and put my head on the ground. I started crying and saying I looked awful. This was the first Adam had seen me acting like this. I am sure he was wondering “what the heck is going on”? But he was wonderful. He sat down next to me, made me look up at him, and said, "Deidre, you are beautiful. And if going out with these people makes you feel like this... then we shouldn't go out with them." He was right. So I put on the very first outfit one more time. Touched up my mascara. And we left. And I felt confident and I felt beautiful. Not because of my clothing. But because Adam supported me.

This has always been a struggle for me. I am a comparer. I always compare how I look against other women. Which is ridiculous. Because my body type is not the average woman body type. My body is the average tall girl body type. I am 5'9". I am a size 10. I have a normal shape. Hips and all. But I have skinny legs. And no tone in my arms. So how do I dress? First of all. I don't try to pretend I can wear a certain size. Who cares if I buy a large rather than a small? No one knows about that but me. Second. I wear things that make me feel confident. If I put on a shirt that feels a little snug or I look in the mirror and think... eh? I change. No point in going out feeling self-conscious all day. Some clothing have their off days. No harm in that. Third. I always wear straight leg pants to show my little legs, I never tuck in things unless I am wearing something high waist-ed, and I always wear something with sleeves to hide my lack of tone. You learn your best and worst features, and you learn to dress for comfort and confidence.


 photo FFEButton_zps3ece9ed1.pngThere is nothing little about me. I will never be a size zero. And I haven't been 5'4" since I was in 6th grade. So why do I compare myself to those women? Because I am ridiculous. But in all my days comparing, reading fashion blogs, and looking through magazines I have also gained confidence. The one thing I have come to realize is that fashion fits everyone. I love looking flipping through photos of celebrities, girls I know, and girls I just admire and seeing that they are confident. The girls that are small, the girls that are average, and the girls that are larger... You don't have to be a certain size to rock the latest style. I admire all the different shapes, sizes, and so on of these women. And their examples of style have taught me something - that as long as I am confident with my body, fashion fits ME! That is the beauty of fashion. It is there for everyone. Want to wear a pair of leather pants? Do it. Want to wear a mini skirt around town? Do it. Want to try out the latest pattern? Do it. Want to wear you comfy sweater from 6 years ago? Do it. Fashion is for you and for me and for EVERYONE.

With that being said. I have finally come to terms with things. I am beautiful. I am unique. And I am stylish. And I am confident with who I am. I don't need to compare myself to anyone else. Because I am me. A one of a kind woman, and for that, I am grateful.
Jenn @ What You Make It said...

I loooove this post, and I am so glad it was on your heart to write it! I struggle with self-consciousness too; I think everyone does. But the thing that encourages me about your post is that you are gorgeous, and you must be too hard on yourself, and maybe if you are, then maybe I am too : ) I think I always assumed that women who are in pageants are the most confident women in the world; so you are all the more brave for overcoming your insecurity to do it! Thanks for posting this : )

Kara Maloney said...

Deidre,I love this post! You hit the nail on the head. I relate so much. And yes YOU are beautiful....and remember, some girls (including myself) are looking at you as one of those beautiful, tall, funny, and confident women! I've realized that while I may envy other women, other women may envy me.

Mara and Jae said...

excellent post, my dear!

i've never been terribly hard on myself when i comes to looks and stuff (of course i've had plenty of those breakdowns in front of husband and he's just like..'uh...' haha) but i've never been a tiny person either and since being married, i have gotten bigger. and not that i'm 8 months pregnant...well there are just some thing you can't control! like how far out my belly sticks. it's just how it is and i will just try to eat healthy and stay active and after that, it's out of my hands. it's definitely an adjustment though. and i'll be honest - i'm a little frightened of getting back into shape after baby. but i need to love me, whatever shape or size i am (i'll never be a 0 either :)) and my husband will too. and that's all that matters! thanks for the reminder.

Life with Amberly said...

Ah, you are awesome!!!! :) I think we all forget that every girl is just as self conscious as we are on the inside.

Budget Splurge Beauty said...

I'm very glad you found that self confidence AND shared it with others. It's a very important thing! Growing up fat, I hated myself for so long. Wasted WAY too long hating myself. It wasn't until maybe 3 years ago that I finally slapped myself and asked why I was treating myself that way. Maybe I'll come across jerks in my life that treat me like trash but I don't have to treat MYSELF like trash! So, my self confidence was born. And I don't think- heck I KNOW you don't have to be skinny to be pretty. Different strokes for different folks, ya'll. Everyone is beautiful in their own way. OK I sound like Oprah reading a halmark card but it's true!! :)

Amy said...

:) Thank you for this post! It really, really spoke to me.

And you ARE beautiful!! Love that outfit pic :)

alesha said...

YOU ARE AWESOME! Thank you for sharing this :)

Chevron andLace said...

Just for the record, that outfit is my favorite thus far!
I am so happy that you've had this "Ah ha" moment and shared! It's totally true! No one really pays that much attention to what you're wearing and size is so relative. Dress the way that you want to and focus on the positives. You're amazing!

Sue // Chevron & Lace




P.S. Does my reply thing work now?

Manca* said...

Great post! What Adam said, was really nice. And what you said also. :)

Elise said...

Um so I pretty much love this post!!!! I wish more people understood this and thought this way. It is hard to be a woman with a body that ins't "average". You are gorgeous!

Tayler Morrell said...

Wonderful, honest post. I sometimes feel that way as well and it's taken a long time, still is, to feel that I am just as beautiful as anyone else.
Our Fairy Tale

Kelsey Eaton said...

love love love love love this. You are incredible Deidre. So glad we have become friends! I love how Adam reassures you of that. You guys have the sweetest relationship.

Amanda Schroeder said...

This post is beautiful. I think every woman has a point in their lives where they will compare themselves to other people. I remember writing a post on it and I even vowed to never compare myself to others again, and I didn't. I hope you know that I think you're stunning! You are so beautiful & I look up to you a whole lot. I can't wait to hang out again & get to know each other better.

Y-Be-Fit said...

I love it Deidre. Just what I needed to read today :) Thanks

Alacia Hood said...

I love this. It is so great to hear that someone I think is GORGEOUS has the same insecurities I do. Thanks for writing this. XO

Autumn @ The Unreal Life said...

WONDERFUL

Meaghann Bendis said...

This post is too incredible! You are such an inspiration xo
Meg
www.sealed-with-style.com

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