... this is life.

Willa Dean Nielsen died today.

Read all about this wonderful lady by clicking here.

... this is what I want.

My senior year we had a project assigned to us. We were supposed to make a list of 100 things we wanted to do before we died. I mentioned it to someone the other day, and so I thought I would pull it out so I could add new things and mark of the things I had done. It was interesting to see. My hopes and dreams are pretty much all in the same direction. My list has grown all the way to 153 things, and I am sure it will keep growing as I get older. So far I have accomplished 31 of the 153... It might not seem like a lot, but I feel really good about it.

These are a few I have accomplished:
- go to four corners
- be in a movie
- make a fool of myself
- skydive
- be a peer mentor

There are a few I still need to accomplish:
- marry a RM in the temple
- go on a road trip
- send flowers to a stranger
- teach my kids how to read
- cook a Thanksgiving dinner

... this is full costume.

My brother Eric and his friends have a huge roller skating party every year. They just dress up and have a good time. Eric said I could have come if I would have asked earlier, but alas I missed out. So, here is a picture of him after his skating adventure. For your enjoyment.

...this is truth.

I love this.

6 billion people in the world, 6 billion souls, and sometimes, all you need is one.

... this is a hero.

Willa Dean Nielsen. 80 years old. My very first dance teacher. My Nan's best friend. A creative mind. A good friend.

Last week Willa Dean had a stroke, was taken to the ICU, and they questioned if she would live through the weekend. It was a shock, but at the same time Willa Dean has been getting more sick every day. I just don't like knowing she is in pain.

Luckily she is now out of the ICU. She is getting a little better. She still can't talk, can't use part of her body, and they were questioning if she was blind. My mom and I decided we should go see her today. I am so happy we went today, they said she was better today than yesterday. I teared up walking in. Willa Dean was lying in her bed, bruises all over her arm, hooked to many cords, and using an oxygen tank of some sort. It was hard to see someone I loved so much, someone like my own grandma, lying there not knowing so much what was going on. She laughed a few times, but I still didn't know if she remembered who I was. I went to her left side so I could hold her hand, and she reached out for me, and they assured me that meant she remembered who I was. She wanted to hold my hand because that is how she was saying I love you. I hope Willa Dean continues to get better, but I am just happy I got to go see her. I think she knows that I love her, and miss her when I am no longer dancing for the Stargazers. But, the even greater gift is her knowing I love her, and knowing she loves me in return.

... this is a trial.

For those of you that don't know much of my life, to start let me tell you something about me. In August of 2006 I had back surgery.

Here is the entry I wrote about my back, dance, and life after my surgery when I wanted to share my story:

I’ve always tried to balance everything in my life, but this past year I was put to the test. In November I was at my dance class when I started to notice a sharp pain going down my right leg. After visiting several doctors and specialists, they found I had two bulging discs and one herniated disc. The herniated disc was pinching my nerve and causing tremendous pain. The pain increased to a level so intense I couldn’t tolerate sitting in a desk for more than 15 minutes. The only thing that offered me any relief was the movement in my dance classes. Through all the pain, I only gave up track when I couldn’t stand the twisting when I threw the discus and shot put. I finished the school year going to every class in pain.
During the summer I participated in a dance competition where I endured my most horrific pain, but those minutes on stage dancing, doing what I love most, was all worth it. My team even walked away from the competition with five grand championships. A week later, my family went to my brother’s mission in Italy so we could see everything he experienced and learn the things he did. On the return trip, I had to lie under the airplane seats because I wasn’t able to sit. When we got back to the States, I decided I couldn’t handle the pain anymore and we went to Boise for another opinion. The doctor said he didn’t expect such a severe hernia in a 17-year old girl. He recommended surgery immediately and I agreed. So here I am, three months after my surgery, feeling the relief and gratitude that I was able to have a successful surgery and get back to my normal life.

Well... life has been great since then. It was great before, and I was so blessed for the surgery to go so perfectly. And life has been running smoothly until about a month ago. My back started acting up again. The pain isn't in my back this time as much, just once and awhile, but I have started having numbness in my right leg, sometimes more than others. I went to the doctor's in Boise this week. He said he thinks it is the same disc and the same nerve, but he wants me to wait it out and take Aleve and stretch until it is unbearable, and then I will go in for an MRI. It is nice to know that my back isn't a threat, but it makes me nervous just waiting for it to get to the point it was before.

... this my art.

Risa and Braden wanted to give their parents pictures of "the final two" siblings left at home. They were kind enough to let me help out by taking their photos. Here are a few.

... this is a memory.

Ever since I was little I can remember one specific thing about our family trips to Utah. The Wall. It is such a unique and amazing thing to me. I don't know what fascinates me so much about it, but really it means a lot to my memories. Every time I drive past it I like to look for the new things painted, and I have always wanted to stop to take pictures, so this time I did.

I think I want to paint it sometime.

... this is our gift.

To: You
With love from: Jamestown 13

... this is ugly.

So, part of the Christmas season is to put on sweaters... ugly sweaters, cute sweaters, oversized sweaters, the choice is yours. Some of my girlfriends and I decided to go to an ugly sweater party. It was at Studio 600 in Salt Lake, so it was a dance party. You were supposed to dress like old ladies in ugly sweaters... but we were kinda the only ones that did. Most tried to make their ugly sweaters look "cute". But we followed the rules. Here is the results.

... this is joy.

Okay. Two things I love from Canada. Steph Layton and Kinder surprises. Steph always brings me some back because she is the best!

... this is a windy day.

Okay. Thanksgiving break. I made the Bevans come model for me. It was super windy, but things worked out pretty well! Here are some of my favorites.

Dear Coldplay,

Okay. My life has been NONSTOP. So, as I remember things that have happened, I will post them! Ha. First off, I went to the COLDPLAY CONCERT!!!! Best thing ever. I don't know what to tell you except it was seriously amazing, best concert I have ever been too. Glow in the dark confetti, coming out in the audience, cool videos, piano, okay. You get it? Here is a video for your viewing pleasure!

... this is my vision.

A preview of my four hour photo adventure.

... this is my choice.

I have been looking through my pictures and I decided I should get some input on my thoughts of applying for the photography major... Here are some of my options... Actually, a lot of my options... I need thoughts on if these pictures would be good in a portfolio.

... this is success.

Okay. I took a midterm today.

NINETY TWO PERCENT followed by a WELL DONE!

To be honest, that is the best I have ever done on a test in the testing center. It is a great day!

... this is life.

This quote, I love.

For most of us, most of the time, the choice between good and bad is easy. What usually causes us difficulty is determining which uses of our time… are merely good, or better, or best.

... this is fun.

I went to preference last night. It was seriously the best date ever. I went with Adam Ruri, and it was super. He wore a fancy white tux and I wore a black dress with white polka dots, and we matched the theme "A Black and White Affair" perfect. Okay. So, here is what the night went like. First, all the girls met up and decorated the Alpine Village clubhouse for dinner. Then I went to pick up Adam, and we went back to play and eat at Alpine Village. We had a great meal from Olive Garden, and I loved it. Then, in between dinner and dessert Adam and I waltzed and ran on the treadmills. After that was crepes and a sweet dance party. Like, legit, pre dance party party. Then we drove drove drove to Spanish Fork. And it was AMAZING. Black and white, loved it. Carriage ride- so fun (we were the best group of the night, Jed said so.) Human chess, a little confusing but it looked pretty awesome. Dance party was awesome. Oh the emotion that was portrayed in the dance moves from my group. We all got super into it. Loved it. Okay. I also felt basically famous, because my dear friend Jonathon was the photographer so he was snapping away like the paparazzi. Word. I just don't even know what else to say besides this was one of the best dates I have ever been on and I loved it.

... this is funny.

I forgot this part. There was a girl that came and sat by us and said "I'm not moving for anything! I LOVE this view, I LOVE FOOTBALL PANTS." So this picture was taken in her honor.


She might have been onto something. She also said "THE BEST PART OF THE GAME IS WHEN I GET TO TOUCH THEM ON THE VICTORY LAP!" Okay. I just thought it was funny, enjoy.