Welcome back Monday, we have all been looking forward to you and your Bachelorness - especially after last weeks preview of what is to happen tonight. Pure. Craziness. What looks like a sex scene, a fight with Kelsey, and a broken hip. Should be interesting, right? You can catch up on all the details from last week in my episode 3 recap... and while I am happy to keep you up to date as to what is happening, you are seriously falling behind on the episodes. Keep up!
Once again - The Bachelor gets a late start in our home due to our Scandal on Netflix obsession. So I turned it on mid camping date. Apparently what I missed is someone taking off their bottoms. And someone being a total grump because camping is like, the worst. I turned it on just in time to see the girls struggle to put up tents. And to hear the words, "I am also a camping virgin." We get it, Ashley I. You are a virgin. There was campfire, booze, and just a good all time. We get Onion Girl being all crazy again. We get Kelsey pretending to be happy again when she is really a hater. And Kaitlyn is really, really growing on me. I like her. And she gets the rose.
I would move on to the next date but this next part needs it's own section. After everyone goes to bed Ashley I sneaks into Farmer Chris' tent to tell him she is "inexperienced" in everything. Aka she is a virgin. Just spit it out girlfriend. You are looking like an idiot. She really wants him to know she is a virgin. Like so bad. But she cant just come out and say it. And she thinks he gets it, but he clearly doesn't. And then they makeout.
While the girls are out on a camping adventure Chris' lovely sisters come by the house to meet the remaining ladies and pick one for a special one on one. After chatting and interviews. Oh and after Jillian waking up from poolside to make it in to join them. The sisters pick Jade for the Cinderella date. Jade gets made over by a fairy godstylist and gets to keep the earrings and the shows. Most girls are super nice about it, but Ashley I has a total melt down. SHE LOVES PRINCESSES! SHE WANTS TO BE ON THAT DATE. She pouts to the extreme. And then ABC does a really good job of getting me super pumped for the live action Cinderella coming out. They play to my weaknesses, always. Off Jade goes to a magical dinner with Prince Farming followed by one last surprise of a live orchestra for just the two of them. Meanwhile, back at the house. All the girls hang poolside except Ashley I who puts on her princess themed date dress to cry and say this should have been her date. She is having a lot of breakdowns.
Next date starts with wedding dresses. Ends with a mud run. Jillian leaves everyone in the dust because she needs this time with Chris. Once the other girls are sent home and Jillian heads to a romantic location with Farmer Chris they can start their one on one day. Which ends in Jillian talking to much, being loud and slight inappropriate, Farmer Chris is thinking of unicorns and rainbows, and Jillian gets the boot. He says he can't see it working and she starts crying and saying she is acting like an idiot because she is nervous. Too little, too late. Bye blurred out booty.
The cocktail ceremony is brief. We found out there is another virgin - Becca. Which is no surprise, she hasn't even kissed him because she values herself more than that. Which I appreciate. And she is the better virgin in my opinion. Don't flaunt, just live your life choices. Chris goes on to kiss nearly everyone. And then Britt asks Chris why he is validating certain behavior that is generally deemed inappropriate and he doesn't really answer and storms away. Basically.... we have no clue what happens. Jimmy Kimmel breaks it down for us all though. During the rose ceremony there are no huge surprises as to who gets eliminated. Ashley S or Onion Girl as she is known here is finally sent home and she feels nothing. Also, Chris is so sweet with single Mom Juelia. I adored that moment.
The best cocktail outfits for the evening? Ashley I's princess dress, Britt gets in there because her her look is on point, and lastly, Juelia has a stunning dress on her final night. My favorites to go into the end are Britt, Becca, Whitney, and Kaitlyn at this point. They seem to be getting the most Chris love lately. Who are your favorites heading into week five?
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